3 swings and a ring...right?

I think it's about time we talk about THE THING.
You know, that thing you get curious about when you meet someone new, a must discuss item at any girl's sleepover, and the big nail-biting, sometimes jaw-clenching, hopefully butterfly-inducing topic every Harding student has encountered/discussed/dreamed/dreaded at least 50 thousand times before they graduate.

Let's put it in middle school terms: "WHO DO YOU LIKE?"

You see at Harding, there's a lot of pressure put on you in the dating aspect of your life:
Who are you bringing as your function date? Do you like him? Does he like you? 
Who was that boy you were walking to class with?
 Is your lab partner more than just your *ahem* lab partner? Nudge nudge, wink wink. 
When is he going to propose? It's been like 4 months right? I bet you're next to have a ring ceremony!

Three swings and a ring right?

What is it like at other University's? Is it acceptable to go to the movies with a guy friend and not have people wondering if you're dating? Can you sit on a bench with someone to talk and not have it be anything more than that? Can, cue When Harry Met Sally, a boy and a girl really just be friends?

I've been guilty of this mindset. I've had guys take me out for coffee and pay for it, and I definitely way over read into it. He payed for it, does he think this is more? Is he just being nice? Did I just get suprise-dated? Or if a guy asks me to go to Sonic with him more than a few times, Is just hanging out okay with him? Is he trying to get out of the friend zone?

It's how girls are I guess.

In all my vast knowledge of dating (hahaha) I've decided it's okay to not know. It's okay to hang out, to meet a lot of people, to open yourself to new experiences. I can definitely appreciate a guy who has the guts to put himself out there.

BUT. When it actually comes to dating, I'm going to be picky. I'm going to keep my standards high.

In my Christian families class this week our teacher asked us: "Why are people so quick to jump into relationships that may not be the best for them?" 

• We seek fulfillment in people instead of God
• We don't want to be alone
• Seeking attention you're not getting elsewhere 
• Social pressure
• Don't know how to be "single"
• Status & validation
• Lack of confidence

I'm sure there's many more reasons, but I felt this list summed up pretty well all the general thoughts about why we go into relationships we shouldn't.

I met with one of my club sponsors this week to talk for an hour about marriage and dating and relationships and she definitely reaffirmed my thoughts: Don't settle. Don't worry your standards are too high. Of course no one is perfect, so no one is going to perfectly fit your checklist in mind or the expectations you have. But don't let all those insecurities and doubts in your mind push you into a relationship you shouldn't be in. It's not worth it.

Marriage, my sponsor told me, is a special gift from God. And it's better to be a little lost and confused right now until you find the right one than to be filled with a life of anger, resentment, and an even more lonely kind of lonely than you feel now.

The right guy isn't just supposed to just love you for who you are. He's someone who will challenge you in your walk with Christ, someone who will grow with you and hold you accountable. "The ultimate purpose of marriage is not to make us happy but to glorify God."

So find your fulfillment in God first. Build relationships with the people around you. Say yes to adventures.